How do you write something that everyone will like?

It's impossible. And that's not a flaw in the book.

My books aren't for everyone. They're for women who've made some major choice, or are standing right in front of one. For people who know what it means to love and to lose. For those in the middle of their own story, with no idea how it ends. For those who left, or wanted to. For those who lived life one way and suddenly glimpsed another.

If a reader doesn't fit that description, the story probably won't land for them the way it's supposed to. Not because the book is bad — but because it wasn't written for them.

An acquaintance of mine started reading my first book, got through the first five chapters, and gave me her feedback. She didn't mean to hurt me — she started with the positives, said the book read easily, the style was good, the language clear.

"Okay, thank you."

But there was an annoying 'but' — it just wasn't for her, because there was 'not enough blood,' and in her view, memoirs should only be written by famous people, and only if the stories really turn everything inside out.

I was upset, of course, and started spinning in circles wondering what I should fix based on that kind of feedback. A complete waste of time. Because it wasn't about me, and it wasn't about my book. It was about the reader herself. The genre just wasn't for her. She could simply not read it — there are blurbs, there are free samples, after all.

I came to understand something: my books aren't a dollar bill, meant to please absolutely everyone.

The usual advice goes: 'Know who you're writing for. Not in the abstract — not "readers," not "women," not "anyone who loves good prose." Specifically: this exact person, this is their life, this is what they'll bring to the book the moment they open the first page.'

That's great advice, but what if, say, I had no idea who would even need my books? So what, not write them? I had this need to get it all out, and — bam — there was a book! Then a second! Now a third.

So, in my experience — and my opinion — it can go either way. You might know exactly who you're writing for and why, right from the start. Or you might not. But that doesn't mean your book isn't needed. Once you finish it, it'll become clear.

And the readers it isn't for — let them go find their own book. Someone else wrote it for them.