I wanted everything to feel real. After all, I'd written my first book!
Just a few years earlier I'd been thrashing around in mental convulsions, unable to admit to myself that I'd burned out completely and it was time to change something. And now here I was, living on Bali, having written my first book and put the final period on it. A whole book! A tome of ten author's sheets (roughly 300 pages of A5)! I didn't believe it myself.
So yes, I wanted everything to be like in the movies about writers. Let's set aside, of course, that every writer's path runs through thorns. Let's pretend that part was already behind me and that the main thing about a book is writing it (spoiler — no. Actually — no, no, and no!).
I wanted a real, live editor, a proofreader, a typesetter, an illustrator — who else is there? I wanted all of them! I wanted to land at a publishing house (any publishing house), without understanding the first thing about this business.
The very first step for a finished book is editing. It took me another year and another finished book to understand that every writer handles this editing business however they know how. Some are embarrassed to show their work and just put the manuscript in a drawer. Another one done — into the drawer it goes. And round and round. Meaning those manuscripts never make it out of the drawer (pun intended :)). Some want to find 'the best editor on the entire planet,' who obviously charges a fortune, so the manuscript goes back in the drawer until the writer earns enough for that editor. Some skim through the manuscript themselves once or twice and, without a second thought, post it straight to self-publishing platforms. And some (me) don't think it over for long, don't do the research, and just pick the first one they come across.
I'm not judging anyone — to each their own, as long as they're happy. My reasoning went like this: I want to hold my intellectual labor in my hands as an actual book. The way I saw it in my imagination: roughly A5 format, color illustrations, hardcover. And still, I did poke around the self-publishing kitchen. I was pleasantly surprised to find services where I could handle all the prepress work (with my own money, of course), print trial copies (which I wanted to do anyway, to give to family and friends), and list it on their platform right away. All in all, I got excited that it could all be done in one place, and I sent out a few emails. I wanted them to explain how everything worked and give me prices and timelines for editing. Out of several, only one replied — I'll call her Nika, and I won't name the platform.
The woman wrote back the same day and explained everything in detail. The only thing that bothered me was that we could only correspond by email, so it would all be kept on record. It bothered me because there was a five-hour time difference between us, and replies could come with a day's delay — sometimes even two. That irritated me, honestly; it felt strange, in this age of high technology, to be corresponding by email with a one- or two-day lag.
But there was no real need to rush — no one was waiting for me with a finished manuscript. This was all my own wish; I simply wanted to hold my own book in my hands already.
Nika politely addressed all my objections; the price was about average for the market — I checked other similar sites, of which there turned out to be a huge number. I won't pretend I agonized over it back then and spent ages doing a full market study. No, I think I just grabbed the first one I came across. The one thing I did ask for (which turned out to be a separate paid service) was a trial edit of one chapter. I wanted to be sure the editor wouldn't rewrite my text for me and break my authorial voice (God, if only I'd known back then that a commercial editor couldn't care less about that). I paid for the service and sent over one chapter. A couple of days later it came back with the editor's edits. I liked that all the changes were made in a separate field on the right, with explanations of why they were needed. An editor isn't supposed to check punctuation, but there were even a few punctuation fixes in there. You can accept them, or not, if you disagree.
I liked working this way, and we got started. The whole thing took about a month and a half. The payment covered two rounds of editorial changes. After the first round, right at the start of the work, I got a lovely note from the editor, Elena. Here it is:
'Working through this manuscript left such a warm reader's impression :) it came out heartfelt, sincere, light, and engaging — I want to thank you for your work! A great ending, too — intriguing, open. If you're thinking about a second book — that would work out beautifully :) There are no major issues with the text overall, the narrative logic is solid, the pacing works, and the whole thing reads in the genre of an easy, warm conversation.'
Can you imagine? That gave me wings. I knew I hadn't made a mistake. Even though the manuscript went through another five or seven rounds after those two editorial passes (and honestly, it could still be improved). But for those words from Elena alone — words that didn't clip my wings but gave them to me — I'm grateful for that experience of working with a real, live editor.
P.S. No advice here. Simply because every writer has their own goal. Same as any other person, really. Don't be lazy about choosing your own path! It's interesting.